Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
