the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Damn victory sex feels great
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize