East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
