I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
