How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
