I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
