He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
