dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Duck Duck Cougar?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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