Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
BRING THE BAGELS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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