Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
