y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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