My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
