apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
