Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
