Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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