They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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