My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
