is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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