Sorry, I don't speak sober.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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