i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
