I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize