Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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