he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
sex in a hospital.. check
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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