People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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