Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize