Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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