She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
