So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
