I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Someone signed my nipple.
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