I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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