I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
