Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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