i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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