What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize