false alarm. still invincible.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
