Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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