Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
