Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
