i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
