lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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