I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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