BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
