I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
