Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
