ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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