So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
