Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
