I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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