is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
