No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize