He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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