2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He passed out mid-signature
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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