The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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