a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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