It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
