In the future we'll all be gay
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
