What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
