She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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