In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
