gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
