am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Farmville is her only friend.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
