thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hotel room ftw
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
